月曜日, 5月 30, 2005
I've got 36-1 cards left to write grr.. that means like 18 cards a day??? my gosh! sheesh... But i must really record what happened today.. woke up real early and reached my workplace half an hour earlier to settle some snobbish patient's business. Didn't settle it eventually but i guess it's good to just leave it to god after doing ur best and he will settle it :) no calls to scream at me so i guess everything went well for her :)
Ili came back today to help out in the phone room. Gave her a thank you card and she was really touched. I wasnt really close to her all this while but when pple step into ur life, no matter how insignificant a role they played, I know my life has changed and I just wanna thank everyone for playing a part in lighting that special candle of theirs to brighten my life :)
And guess what? She actually bought a bouquet of flowers for me! Gosh, I was really extremely pleasantly surprised and touched too! That's the power of love and friendship and the power of making the first move in showing one's appreciation for another. And i believe everyone deserves being appreciated by the pple ard him or her.
GIC scholarship tmr. Really thought they intended to just drop me after they didnt call for 2 weeks when they promised they would and esp after I was severely blasted by Pam during the debate(which left me rather amused at my "commendable" ability in rebutting arguments haha). But since i've tried for it at the beginning, I wanna go through it. So I'll do my best :)
Office politics is getting to its max here. I've never experienced it until recently and it's getting worse by the day. I worry alot about how everyone is going to end up dumping all the blame on me just because I've left cc and cant be further scolded. I'll leave that matter to God really. For I believe only he is in full control. I hope things work out well and that everyone understands that my actions, however intolerable or "unorthodox", was definitely done with good intentions. Praise God for this wonderful day!
+awaiting to soar..* 10:25 午後
I'm so glad that I am still able to revive this blog such that there wont be any more complaints that it's been giddy's bdae for the past month coz ive not written anything at all haha...
Really busy lately,but had lotsa extremely interesting experiences as well. One thing I realised from all this is that Singapore is truly a very small cosy warm and happy big family *grin (at least to me that is :P)
I just visited Kejia's church last sun. The story of how we met is real long. I had to rush back for grad nite from a thai mission trip and he was rushing back for a wedding dinner from his thai mission trip and it happened that this lady in the plane wanted to switch seats with him because her seat couldnt be pushed back so thats how he sat with my dad and i. Coincidentally, he is Pastor Kang's son and Pastor Kang used to preach at my church and was my parents' fav pastor. Always hear them praise him and talk about how legendary a speaker he was. So i decided to visit his church with shuwan on sun. And to my pleasant surprise, I met John there! Was sooo excited to see someone i know but John was kinda busy having some "man" talk with 2 elderly men so he gave me this look to acknowledge my presence as well as to tell me to wait. I guess he was in a rush so we didnt talk much and he seemed a little cold. I was feeling quite disappointed after feeling so exhilarated i managed to meet up with a good friend that I truly respected, in fact respected the most in rj, but getting a sorta "cold" shoulder. Nevertheless, meeting John brought back the memories of how he had helped me tide through the pressurizing, stressful blazer days esp the scoldings i got from ms poon in the pe room. Remembered very clearly how he stood behind me and told me not to take it to heart as ms poon was spouting some really "enlightening" remarks about the way we worked. I felt really happy and thankful to him. I dunno what happened that day that caused his attitude to be kinda cold. Thought it was the army thing because ive not been catching up with anyone from army so i dunno what they have been doing to the guys there and I thought maybe they just made them more mature, more MAN, more reserved and less playful and warm haha... Anyway, John will always be that inspirational yet humble leader who spent the hols in the council room sleeping, who ran ard the school barefooted etc. I thought to myself that no matter how he has changed, he would still be the council pres that I highly respected. To my surprise, he actually msged to apologise for not being able to talk for long later in the day. At least, I knew at that moment the John I knew had not been lost. I wish him all the best in his future endeavours and hope he enjoys himself at oxford and may god bless and guide him as he serves the country after his uni days.
In anycase, in kampong kapur that day, I met my tutee and her mom! My dad met his uni classmate and I met this young lady pastor who was visiting the church and was intending to do life time missions in Japan! So cool! I actually spoke to her in Japanese and she replied in Eng and was very surprised I could speak japanese haha... She had Japanese features like a fair complexion, small beady eyes etc such that i thought she was a Japanese! haha.. it turned out that she knew sau yee very well haha... what a small world! We had loads to share from Japanese dramas, Japanese bibles to missions and all. And i even found out that she was the classmate of the missions director in my church!
Next incident- It is the last day Kelong 88 would be open at thomson plaza. It's been so many yrs and I think we would miss them loads! My family decided to eat there for the last time and visit everyone there. It was really sad. They told my dad abt the news last week and they said that many of them cried when they knew that the whole team of waitresses would be disbanded at the end of the week due to poor business. Well, i guess thats how i would be feeling this whole week really. But, that's life and the most impt thing is to make sure u keep those dear memories with u as u walk through life and never to forget the friendships that u have made. I love Kelong 88. And i never realised how special they were until today. The whole ambience is so friendly, with the old ladies wearing a headscarf (tou jin) and pushing the carts with the delicious yummy tim sum... It gives such an authentic (gu se gu xiang), 80s feel to the restaurant and it reminds me of those times in the 80s when there were loads of roadside stalls and everyone sits there eating and chatting away happily.. and how the stall holders were on such great terms with their customers and knew each one by name. Weird that im saying this.. sounds like im from the 80s haha.. but at least thats the picture it paints for me and if it really was like that in the 80s then we should keep more of these kinda restaurants to give the 2nd generation of singaporeans sweet reminiscences of the past. The lady manager came over to greet us and told us that the place would soon be taken over by the restaurant none other than Peach Garden! Laura's mom's restaurant! And she said she knew Laura since she was young and they were on pretty good terms because her friend was a partner with Laura's mom. Gosh! the world IS small. As we were abt to leave, we saw 2 church friends having lunch there! And they were just talking to my dad when he was on the way to fetch the car after church service! I must say this again- Singapore IS small haha.. but I like it this way. It suddenly seemed like a big family, reminding me of how kejia said his church is like a big family because everyone is related to another person haha. And I could feel it the min i stepped in :P
As we were going home, I walked with my sis ard thomson and we reached the second storey. The closing down of kelong made me think of the closing down of starbucks again. Esp when I see an empty piece of concrete space where starbucks used to exist. It's really sad. I've spent all my days nearing the As studying there and had so many wonderful memories there and overnight it just wasnt there anymore! and i didnt even have the chance to see it for the last time. Boy, am i gonna miss that place loads.
Anyway, I have a thousand and one things to do now. Am having good progress with the goodbye cards that im writing... require loads of effort to make cards out really.. spent an hour drawing accurate measurements to cut the cardboard pieces out... it was tough work really... knew immediately that i couldnt ever be an architect haha... hope i can get everything done this week :) Jia you ganbatte!
+awaiting to soar..* 12:01 午前
金曜日, 5月 27, 2005
It's been more than a more than a month since ive last logged on...Even though I must say my memory has improved tremendously after working so long at cc, I cant imagine how many details im going to miss out as i recount my months of work there. How many wonderful memories that end up as an empty white gap in my online journal.
I'm really upset im leaving. Yet, I know that in life, in order to fulfil your ambitions and aspirations, there is a need to move on. That's still quite a problem for me because I love everyone at cc so much I dont wanna leave. I'm set on leaving but i know the free afternoons (i do not say mornings as the sleep debt ive accumulated is gonna take a real long time to be repaid, with interest) that i've created after I stop working may very well end up in deep depression as I think of what i could be doing as I slack and rot away at home. Terina said when i come back next time ill be coming back in a different identity.. I mean it's true that ill be a med student and not a pca anymore but i dun like the thought of it.. not because i dun wanna study med but because i dun like the idea/implication that ill change.. because im never going to change. I love them all and im not going to pretend im a class higher. In fact i told her that if i come back as a doctor and if the sys doesnt change i could very well do my own appts!! haha... well, its gonna be ages before i can accomplish that..:P
So many little memories that piece into a big treasure picture. Everyone's leaving too. By the end of June there will only be left one staff from the original team of us who have been working for 4 months! I guess everyone has to carry on with life but I know we will all never forget the wonderful memories we shared. The diaoings, the whinings, the dr xxxxx fan club presidents, the missed opportunity to take photos with mediacorp artistes when they filmed at the mtc room, wonderfully sweet patients (one actually promised to get something for me from the us even though she almost yelled at me that day^_^) and doctors (dr ben is still my fav!:P)
I would love to start a recount from day one but my heart is crying really...I cant believe time flies...
Much as i dislike and dread dealing with horrible, unreasonable and grouchy patients, I learnt so much in relating to them... I've learnt to empathise them.. I've learnt that I have to face up to them because that is my job.. That explaining things properly to them is the key to it... Being honest and sincere in what you say... and they appreciate it loads:) Had one really nice lady that waited for me to finish my conversation on the phone just to thank me :)
I love serving pple.. probably thats why i decided law would never be for me because its such a solitary job and the pple whom u interact with end up paying u loads in order to recover their insubstantial (comparative to the fees they pay) amt of money:P (know ill get slammed for this but i mean its a generalisation) but im looking for something more from the heart, some way I can spread the love of god.
Dr Ben spoke lots to me today probably because he thought i was leaving :P But he said things bout how docs end up marrying docs and there's this inbreeding thing haha... anyway, he spoke about how his little 5 month old kid meant the world to him and is the brightest joy of his life and how doing medicine comes after it...Gosh, say what u guys want k, but i think he's the best guy ive ever met and i really think he's wife is sooo lucky :) He was showing me pics of baby thomas and his wife in his pda and he shared with me that as yrs go by he realised that family is still the most impt in his heart:) Told me i would feel so when i grew up but i should enjoy myself now and not try to grow old too quickly :P I guess so too *grin.. although ive observed through my after As experiences with the working class that family is really a pillar of support for them...I am beginning to take that stand too, except that my family now just doesnt seem to fit into that warm cosy narration of dr ben's:P
Wish we could have talked more but didnt wanna take any more time such that the poor patient would get restless from the long wait of the appt card...Hoped so much he could be my surety for my medicine course but i guess its a way demanding request for him... Why would u trust a stranger, that he or she wont break a bond and cause u to pay 100 of thousands of dollars? But still I wish he would.. because 1. this ensures that we stay in contact coz he needs to know if ive ran away or not haha..2.that i know im enduring the tedious medicine course because of one inspirational doctor who really showed me what it was to be one. Of which the latter takes precedence of coz... but life's like that... I always miss pple more than they miss me, always admire pple and treasure pple more than they treasure me, trust pple more than they trust me... etc. But i never regret doing it...I know that somewhere down life's winding road, they'll forget me some day but i wont. Because each one of them has left a special candle in my heart that has lit my life in a way that could never have been possible if they werent ard...Ill leave my surety issue to god and let him bring me through as he has brought me through every single difficulty in my life to these safe shores. Meanwhile, it seems that asking the bank to be a surety is the only way out.. Am terribly afraid to bring up the issue with Dr Ben coz he's so nice he'll never outrightly reject someone but he'll really be stressed out by it and i dun want him to be... I mean i know myself very well.. I see myself giving up dreams of going overseas to save my parents' money, I see myself working in the public sector because I want to serve those angry, red faced, grouchy, mean, yet pitiful and in need of love subsidised patients.. (of coz they are loads of nice aunties and uncles around hee)I mean I want to help those truly in need, those pple who are suffering and yet have no one they can turn to to care for them... so i 100% do not see myself breaking the moh bond and i wish he would bring up that issue again.. but as always with money issues, pple can get touchy and all... :S
Anyway, the docs are back from ASCO! this week's been such a busy week, bustling with activity such that there werent even enough rooms for the docs and they had to queue for rooms hee... Miss them so much and am highly thankful they are back really... the weeks with them gone made me miss running mon and fri aft clinics like mad...
Well that would mean back to a crazy lifestyle of skipping lunches, "illegal" methods of booking in patients (so that more patients can be seen than allowed- Annie's a genius! just learnt a new method hee), getting high and running back and forth from treatment area to pca counter to reg counter to mtc room and all around again haha... Boy am i gonna miss this though its highly stressful.. u wont belive what weird requests we get everyday! From getting prescriptions, changing appts to running downstairs to the taxi stand to receive mri scans from the patient or to bring a wheelchair up for a patient to being our own porter by delivering casenotes at world record speed and bringing patients to the ward ourselves haha... those are just a few of the crazy things we did haha...
I really am going to miss that place. Will be absolutely busy trying to get ready good bye gifts for all... hope i manage to get them done in time...
+awaiting to soar..* 11:57 午後
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